I'll Wait For You
by JRastelliAuthor
Summary: Just a short little one shot.


Authors note: I needed to find some therapy for myself today, after another miscarriage at 11 weeks yesterday; mandatory time off work today so I can't even distract myself with that. This year has been rough on me, and writing has been difficult. I feel like my support system doesn't even know what to do, and I basically feel numb. So I thought about what I would like to do, and I decided to try to write something. Sorry if it super sucks. Inspiration from Brett Young's I'll wait for you.

I was on my way to the base for another classified mission. The details were scarce, and the only thing I knew was that this was going to be a long game. I would be wherever I was going for at least six months, probably longer. It had been quite a few years since I was on duty for that long, because I only took the specialized missions. My job was usually to get in, find intel and neutralize the target, then get out.

The orders couldn't have come at a worse time though. Things were finally looking up between Stephanie and I, and I hated having to leave her so soon after finally moving in together and starting our someday. The promise of this day had been years in the making, but until s I manned up and told her how I felt with no qualifications, no exceptions, she wouldn't make that move to me. She wanted to be mine three years ago, after the DeChooch deal. She just never got the chance to be, even though I wanted nothing more than that at the same time.

I wasn't celibate in the time after the DeChooch deal but before she rescued my daughter. I certainly wasn't celibate before the DeChooch deal. Since she laid her life on the line for someone who wasn't her blood, wasn't even someone I knew altogether that well – no matter that she was my daughter – I knew I was madly in love with her. I knew no one else would measure up in or out of bed, because when you love someone the way that I love her, sex is just sex with anyone but her. With her, it's magic. It's like reaching heaven.

I knew she'd wait for me – I told her she didn't have to, but she said the moment we declared ourselves to each other, that was the same as a wedding vow to her. I'd planned to propose to her next month, on Halloween – it was after all her favorite holiday. That would have to be postponed, because I was going to be in hell.

I just wanted to get this mission over with, so I could go back to my Babe.

He'd been gone for four months, three days, and eight hours. I probably shouldn't know that, but he was everything to me. He was the husband of my heart, even if I never got a ring, and I knew the feeling was mutual. Except, wife, because I lack the equipment to be a "husband". After a disastrous marriage for both of us, we were both a little gun shy. That's not even counting the disastrous relationships I'd had.

Don't get me wrong, Joe was a good man, and a passable cop – he wasn't solving as many of the hard cases as fast without my help, but he did solve them – but he was not the man for me. We wanted completely different things out of life. The only things we agreed on were beer, and the refs calls on the Ranger's team. We were horrible together romantically, but we made great friends. Joe's wife was understanding of our friendship, and was a good friend to me herself. After all, he'd somehow managed to marry Mary Lou Molnar Stankovic, my best friend since Kindergarten. After her husband Lenny died in a freak plumbing accident, she got a job with dispatch at the cop shop and things sort of grew from there with them. He was good to her boys, and good for the whole family, even though her oldest could be a resentful shit.

Ranger though, we were perfect together. He let me fly, he was patient and understanding of what I needed out of life, and he didn't yell at me. He didn't let me run from our problems, either. He took us seriously, took me seriously, loved me through my mistakes, and supported who I was as a person. I'd wait for him forever if I had to. Nothing in this life was as important as the love we shared, and part of loving him was accepting that he did have to go out and protect our freedom.

Seven months, three weeks, and four days. That is how long that awful mission and debrief took. That is how long I was stuck in a hellhole, gathering intel and assassinating corrupt leaders. I hated my job, all the blood on my hands, but it is worth it to sacrifice the lives of a few for world peace and the balance not to be upset.

I tossed the keys into the bowl in the apartment and silently walked into our bedroom, where I could feel her presence. Stephanie was sound asleep, which made sense since it was the middle of the night. I had rushed myself back home to be with her, because there was nothing more that I could imagine doing. I couldn't stand another day without her, so I drove through the night.

I leaned against the doorway and waited for her to realize I was there; she had a keen sense of when I was there and when she was being watched – whether it be by me or someone else. It took a few minutes more than I expected, but she must have been tired. The second she realized I was there, she was out of the bed, no coffee needed and right in my arms.

I held her while she kissed me and cried a bit – she wasn't a crier, but to be honest I had missed her enough I may start to cry too.

"I missed you. I love you, Babe." I whispered into her curls.

"I love you, too. I waited for you; I'll wait for you always."


End file.
